News / Politics

Glenn Greenwald Could Beat Up Your Dad

We at BYSU have been fans of Glenn Greenwald for a long time. We liked Glenn Greenwald before it was cool, before he broke the PRISM scandal with the information entrusted him by Edward Snowden. Snowden probably gave the information to this particular journalist because he knows that Greenwald is a shit-kicking, rock-eating, badass motherfucker.

This past week, Greenwald’s gorgeous and radiant partner, David Miranda, was detained in a UK airport and held for questioning. He was detained for nine hours, the maximum amount of time UK police can, for no justifiable reason, hold someone who has done nothing wrong but be in a relationship with Glenn Greenwald. Glenn’s response?

"When they do things like this, they show the world their real character. It’ll backfire. I think they’ll come to regret it."

“It’ll backfire. I think they’ll come to regret it.”

In other words, this was Greenwald’s Taken moment. The targets of his truth-telling have made a direct show of force against someone he loves, and I think we all know how Taken ended, at least in the abstract.

Originally, his interview was translated from Portuguese to be even more wrathful: “I think they will be sorry for what they did.” This prompted some to imply that Greenwald intended to publish more secrets as vengeance for threatening his husband. This is sort of an extension of the narrative that paints Greenwald and Edward Snowden as small, egotistical men who just want attention and internet points. Considering the life-wrecking consequences they might face, Snowden especially, this is a pretty ludicrous depiction. Not only that, but it seems to presume that Greenwald will stop releasing information if he’s treated nice. Hope springs eternal, but so does Greenwald’s moxie and sense of morality. The releases will continue, regardless the behavior of Greenwald’s enemies.

By “come to regret it,” Glenn Greenwald probably meant that the people responsible would wish they hadn’t fucked with the bull — I mean, that they hadn’t unleashed the beast — I mean, that they had been a little forward-thinking and avoided an embarrassing situation. David Miranda’s detention has sparked a row over the use of Terrorism Act 2000, the most-Britishly-named of stealthily tyrannical policies. The obvious suspicion that the US might have been involved was addressed by Britain, who said they gave a heads-up to American authorities that Miranda was to be held. This of course led to equally uncomfortable requests for details on said “heads-up.”

As a journalist, Glenn Greenwald occupies a space that has an expectation of immunity and free speech. He is also in possession of all documents Snowden captured. Taking action to silence him in some way would be most fucking unwise. This all adds up to Greenwald being a Superman of sorts, whose only weakness is a suspicious car crash or three-bullet suicide. Piled on top: his journalistic record and the fact that he regularly consorts with an angel.

You better believe I wanna wrestle that.

You better believe I wanna wrestle that.

Let’s not mince words: Glenn Greenwald is awesome. And could also beat up Liam Neeson. Have some more links.

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